Well, now I have talked about the ex quite a bit I feel quite a lot lighter for it. Sometimes I guess you need to just let these things out in the open.
Anyway, now I need to discuss the 2nd person on my mind… my crush.
There is this guy I’ve met online that I really like. He’s sweet, funny, cute and he makes me forget all the bad things when I’m around him or thinking about him (yes, even about the ex). And yet…
I know I’ll never be with him. There are too many obstacles in the way. Firstly, he might not even feel the same anyway. Secondly, we live too far apart and I’ve promised myself never to go down the long distance relationship route again. I’ll probably never even meet him, let alone be able to have any form of relationship with him.
I know all this, I’m not stupid. But I still like him, and I like thinking about him. It’s just any happiness he gives me is tinged with knowing it will never go anywhere. Back to Earth with a bump.
I guess I’m faced with a decision. Push all thoughts of him from my mind before I like him more than just as a crush, and go back to be perpetually sad about my ex… Or keep hold of this crush and just enjoy his company, hope I don’t go beyond the crush stage, and keep feeling for the ex under lock and key as I’m mostly distracted.
It’s difficult because I really don’t need or want this. I’m trying my damned hardest to get over my ex which is a slow progress (despite the last blog I think it’s getting a little easier, but sometimes I still need to get my feelings out), and now I find myself caught between him and the new guy I find myself daydreaming about an awful lot… *sigh*
Well, that’s enough for now. I have more thoughts but they can wait for some other time.