Because it’s a New Year I’ve made a few changes. Firstly, I’ve taken a few things off my website as I’ve just not been happy with how they turned out. I’ll work on them and they may make a comeback if I’m pleased with the results. Secondly, and more importantly, Flopsy now has a proper memorial website that you can view at flopsy.critters.com. I still need to add pictures and tweak pages but I intend to keep updating it as Anniversaries come along so expect updates in the future.

Finally I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year. I didn’t have a great 2009 so I hope that my 2010 is better (and the same to you also!). Thanks for reading.

Read on for what happened in my 2008.

The first piece of bad news I received was in January when I found out someone from school had died. I don’t know if anyone else that knew him felt the same but I was really upset that someone that had never done harm to anyone had to die. Hardly feels like there is any justice in the world. Not only that but he was the first person I’ve known my age to pass away. It really brings your own mortality to light…

Around February and March time I had a birthday and saw a few mental health professionals to get myself a place on a Day Therapy Outpatient course. Then it felt like a real step forward however, due to a missing letter, I lost my place in the queue and now won’t get back in until sometime next year. That’s how these things go I guess. I’d go into more details about what it all involves, but it doesn’t seem like there is much point to until I can get past the assessment stage.

It was April when I created a new blog, Suzi Search reborn if you like. I haven’t updated it recently but if you’ve read my past few posts you can probably gather why that is. I’m proud of my little project though.

Still in April, I decided to go to my GP over something that had been bothering me for months. My PCOS means I rarely get a period but earlier this year I had one that just wouldn’t quit! I had a few different kinds of tests at the doctor’s and at the hospital and by May I’d received my results. Cysts were confirmed around my ovaries which didn’t come as much of a surprise, but a fibroid (a benign tumour) was also found. Unless it causes pain or alters in size it shouldn’t an issue, but it’s still a concern for me. I was given medication which curbed the period. It went away, came back, and went away again – I’ve not had another since then.

In June I met with a friend from school for her Hen Night. Why am I mentioning that in my year in review? Well, I’ve not been particularly social after certain events these past few years so to see someone I haven’t seen in years in a busy place surrounded by people I didn’t know… big thing for me. Unless you know how soul-destroying depression can be, it would be hard to explain.

July came by and I started volunteering at an Ancestry database where I’m sent scans and process them so they can be added to a website that anyone can search. It’s an ongoing thing, and I recently typed two pages of entries up yesterday – today I’ll be verifying for errors and uploading them.

Perhaps influenced by the site I was volunteering at or perhaps due to family researching our family tree, but it was around August I decided to do a little digging of my own. On my mother’s paternal side I’ve managed to find our ancestor’s dating back to 1530! Not to mentioned I’ve discovered a whole host of distant relatives we never knew we had…

September started with my dad reaching his 60th Birthday! And then the phoneline was cut. Oh. It was weeks before we had a phoneline again, and further time after that before we had our old number back. Unfortunately, we couldn’t go back to our old legacy broadband package so we’re on something new, with the same supplier. So far so good! I don’t usually like contracts but I trust this company, and got a free Wireless router too!

My sister started off October by having her birthday. Flopsy had had a growth which had burst and I had cleaned, and he seemed fine. On the 20th his 3rd birthday (I am not exactly sure how old he was when I got him, but this is right if he was 8 weeks old) came and passed without a fuss. But by the end of the month, the growth had returned…

1st November it was no longer there. He ate, drank, played and ran as normal – he was the rabbit I had always known and loved. Late on 2nd November Flopsy wasn’t moving and hadn’t touched his food. I knew he would not live another day. Very early 3rd November, Flopsy died next to me. Had anything else happened that month I’m not really sure because things became less important after that.

And now we find ourselves in December. It was hard not having Flopsy here for the 20th, the 3 year Anniversary of when I first saw him, met him, held him and brought him home. My first Christmas without him has been tinted with sadness because he’s not here. I’ve tried to get on with things, presents to buy and receive, but I would be lying if I said it’s been easy.

Despite this, it has been a good Christmas. A very good Christmas. Everyone has actually seemed to like their presents, and I love mine too. I think my mum and sister made an extra special effort to make this a good one this year because of how I’ve felt these past two months (is that all it’s been?). I appreciate the effort even if I can’t always show it.

So there we have it. My year in review. There have been highs and lows but now it’s coming to a close. I’ll be posting again tomorrow with what I hope for 2009!

Thanks for reading everyone. I hope Santa left you what you wanted for Christmas (because he ain’t comin’ back for a year!).

I also want to say something I forgot to mention before. I still have lots of pictures of Flopsy that I never uploaded here. I wanted to show them in order of when they were taken but some I’m unable to upload at the moment so none of them have been yet. The order is less important to me now. I need to grieve and come to terms with this loss, but the pictures will go up in the future.

Thanks for reading.

—

Letter From Your Pet in Heaven

To my dearest family,
some things I’d like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.

I’m writing this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there’s no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I’m out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me,
and He said, “I welcome you.

It’s good to have you back again;
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They’ll be here later on.”

God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night,
the day’s chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you . . .
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn’t understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o’er.
I’m closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I’d like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who’s in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night . . .
“My day was not in vain.”

And now I am contented . . .
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.

God says: “If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.

When you’re walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I’m walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.”

“And when it’s time for you to go . . .
from that body to be free.
Remember you’re not going . . .
you’re coming here to me.”

[Author Unknown]

—

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…

He has been unwell in the past but has always pulled through, unfortunately I knew it wouldn’t be the same this time. For several hours he stayed in my arms while I groomed him as I was certain this would be my last chance to do so. I’m sad to say that I was right about that.

I am going to miss you so much, Flopsy. I can’t even begin to describe how heartbroken I am…

It would be hard to determine the exact cause of death, but I have my suspicious as to what. I will always think I could or should have done more or done things differently, but it was too late to take him anywhere as, even if I had, I believe he would have died on the journey. I don’t regret having him at home with me because I think it brought him some small comfort having someone with him that he knew.

I can’t be sure how old he was when I got him, but I thought him to be around 8 weeks old. If that is true, here is his birthday ticker, stopped today, to show how old he was.

I remember like it was yesterday the day I brought him home. I didn’t quite have him 3 years, and I wish with all my heart we’d have had many more years together, but the short time we did have was wonderful. He gave me a few scares but he also gave me so much joy. I will never forget him and I will never stop loving him.

On Saturday night I held him in my arms and stroked him while he licked my hand, something he hadn’t done for a long time. I do not know if he was more aware then of what was inevitable that I was but I like to believe it was his way of saying goodbye while he had the chance to.

My pet, friend and loyal companion, I will miss you.

Right now I just want to wish that everyone had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, with all the best for the months to come. I myself had a great time celebrating with my parents and sister – and of course Flopsy.

Speaking of which, my lack of talking about him doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with the wascally wabbit, he is doing very well in fact. I have a lot of pictures to upload and post, but I’m looking for a camera lead so I can do that. Until then, take my word that he is okay and that his two year old Birthday came and went without a problem.

We’ll leave it at that for now but I’ll be posting soon!

Flopsy the Easter Bunny!

Don’t worry, he’ll make it to you soon enough!

Have a great day everyone!

Earlier today Flopsy sat on my knee and looked up at me with a small frown on his little face. As anyone would I asked what was the matter, and he said to me (I’m paraphrasing of course);

All this time I’ve let you write about me and show my pictures to the world, and yet we’re doing it for nothing! Had I known this was the case I would have got into merchandising long ago. Do you realise how much you’re losing by not letting my adoring fans contribute to my well-being?

I had to admit, I’d not really thought about it but I suppose he does have a point. Why not get something back if people are willing to give it? This is still a free to view website, but should you wish to offer a small donation because you like a blog post or a section of my site then there is a donate button at the side of the page. Me and Flopsy will be extremely grateful!

Flopsy wishes me to add that he intends to take most of the proceeds to buy food, bedding and toys. He knows that without donations he will still get all these things, but if we ask then he will get more.

I couldn’t let today go by without mentioning it on my blog, and my sister kindly took some pictures of him that I want to share with you all, including one with Buttons.

Enjoy! More new pictures soon!

I have never seen a rabbit so white as he is…

Couldn’t you just hug him!?

Look at Buttons’ eyes – that is definitely the look of love… or fear!